The Monkey Tracker

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Monkey's in Thailand!

Well this blog is exactly a year late, but what can we do.. it was to be expected!

Thailand = lots of attractive girls. Note a large amount of them are boys unfortunately. There were plenty even on our flight into Thailand.

Patong is kind of like a big dirty sest pool. Massages, cheap crap, madness, we lived like kings. You can get anything in Patong.

Some people get more than they bargain for....

Yes it's a boy..

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Japan - Saga 2 of 2

LAST EPISODE, AUSSIE MONKEYS BATTLED SNOW MONKEYS, Beric reached a NEW power level, and we arrived in OSAKA!!

In Osaka we were lucky enough to stay with our friend Chisato and her family for a few days, this lead to all sorts of madness such as bathing naked with hundreds of people..

Chisato's mother Satoko is one of the best cooks I have ever met! Her healthy food was a great change from the McVomit we were forced to survive on for our last day in HongKong. Satoko has some sweet hobbies such as making her own dresses and taking uber creative photographs.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Japan - Saga 1 of 2

This entire year there has been a trend of serious disasters everywhere that we go. Here's the list so far:

Mexico - Large scale drug war
USA - Economy crashing, government bankrupt
Canada - Hockey riots
England - More riots
Greece - More economy crashing & riots
Cyprus - Surrounded by Turkish battleships over oil discovery
Egypt - Mass protests & anarchy
Kenya - Officially at war with Somalia

This brings us to Japan and their tragic tsunami & nuclear crisis earlier this year. We nearly cancelled our Japan leg because of this disaster but it turned out to be an amazing country and a highlight of the year. We researched it on and sifted though government food testing stats. We concluded that the country was safe, however, we shouldn´t drink any green tea which had a few positive radioactive results country wide.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Donkey Kong Hong

Don't Go to Hong Kong

If it's one thing we've learn't this year, it's that we don't like big city's. What with pollution, loud noises, beeping, sewerage smells and excessive people. Quite simply, the standards of living arn't as good. They can all keep there filthy rat race to them selves. And another thing. Don't bother with the peak tram, it's just a view of a bunch of stupid buildings. Who cares.

Space is not taken for granted in this town. People live in Capsule tubes.

Sunday, February 5, 2012


In between climbing we went to Krugar national park to do a 3 day Safari. Krugar is only 2 hours from waterval boven and features Mustafa, Rahfiki, Pumba and Malaria. We did a guided safari in an open top jeep. This was an amazing experience, one of the high lights of the year for me (Beric) actually. It was all very much just like the Lion King and Jungle Book.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Africa, Waterval Boven, Monkey's and Pumba!

The journey to Africa began with a series of highly unnecessary and time consuming flights. You see the original plan involved us stopping in Egypt and Kenya but these had to be cut because of all the chaos there. So we still flew through Cairo, where a series of dodgy passport recordings and constant shuffling from one arbitrary room to another left us highly deranged and confused. Eventually we escaped though and even managed to see one of the pyramids from the plane. Yep Egypt and the pyramids ticked and we didn´t even have to leave the airport.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Cyprus - Land of The Ioannou

A.K.A Land of the Steven

Well actually it should be land of the Stavro as Beric discovered back in Kaly. "Theres this crazy mafia guy, s.... st..., I don't know his name
Is it Stavro?
What how did you know?
Thats my name.
I've known you for 24 years and never heard that..."

Yep I was named after my Papou (grandfather) Stavro who moved to Australia over 60 years ago from the small mediterranian country of Cyprus. As is the case with many immigrants he was seeking prosperity and ultimately a better life than what was available at home during the time. He eventually moved Ayr where he met my grandmother and had a cane farm, then later moved to Townsville. Its interesting to think that I wouldn't even be here if he hadn't made that enourmous journey to the other side of the world all those years ago.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Kalymnos Island! Goats, Kaly King and Tufas!

After a quick flight from Athens we landed at the tiny airport of Kalymnos! 

It's built precariously on the top of a mountain and the runway seemed to drop away straight over a cliff... not much flat ground over here, just the way the monkeys like it! Kalymnos is one of the biggest and best climbing destinations in the world at the moment.

Monday, October 31, 2011

2 Monkeys, 1 Italy!

With just six days to go until our flight to Kalymnos the two remaining monkeys (yep Nomad disappeared again) set out to explore Italy. First stop was Arco in the northern provence of Trentino. This place is the European equivalent of Moab in the USA, full of outdoor nutbags involved in activities like hiking, windsurfing, cycling and climbing. We were slightly dissapointed with the lack of rednecks in jeeps though...

Friday, October 21, 2011

Croatia and Bosnia! Land of the Beric's

Our Peugeot was fairly hootin along the German highway, the roads were the best we had seen and you gotta move quick to keep up with the other lunatics. Even when you're going 170km per hour the Audi's are doing high 200's and literally fly past you in a blink.

We weren't stopping for nothing, well maybe fuel, but our mission was clear. We were heading to my (Chris Beric) most anticipated location in the whole world for this year and in fact for my entire life. For my very time I was going to the place where it all started for the Beric family. Croatia and Bosnia, The Land of the Beric's!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Sunday, September 18, 2011

All Hail the French Chicken Lord!

A quick re-cap. Steve was in Australia for his sister's wedding. And Nomad was stuck with me (Beric) for another week.

After Nomad and I ran with the bulls in Pamplona we drove about 8 hours to Verdon. This cost us about 100 Euro in tolls which really hurt after we lived like kings on this much money in Mexico for a whopping 16 days.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Monkeys Run with the Bulls in Spain!

Lets just start by saying Spaniards are completely insane. Even more wacko than Bloomy...

Now I know Steve and I put up a blog last night but I (Beric) had nothing better to do than right another blog and make a movie on the 9 hour road trip from Croatia to Arco in Italy. So here it is. 

An update on the Nomad status, he has completely disappeared again. Steve and I saw him in Croatia a few weeks ago. Rumor has it he was in Morocco and may now in Portugal? But we really have no idea.

Anyways. After Nomad and I dropped Steve off at Barcelona airport, we made our way to San Sebastian. Basque Country!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Riglos Fiesta De Los Monkeys

After Rodlellar, our next stop was Riglos. One can never be sure if we were actually ever in Rodellar though??! You may notice that the text in this blog is a bizzare combination of Nomad facts and Beric insanity, some sort of absurd hybrid.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Rodellar is NOT Rodellar!

After a total absence from any input to the blog whatsoever, Nomad has decided to contribute to the absolute nonsense with a few paragraphs. We still haven't managed to get him to help with the making of the movies, editing of the photos and blog upload process yet. Which we must say is an extremely tedious and painful process that drives us to the point of insanity sometimes. We are done with computers and ready to go outside and live our lives.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Mallorca Island Deep Water Soling!

After England we all met up again on Mallorca Island Spain. This place is the deep water soloing (DWS) capital of the world. It's where DWS was first invented! In the photo above is the famous Es Pontas Arch. It features the worlds hardest DWS climb which was put up by Chris Sharma and goes at grade 9b.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Monkeyyyyyyys of London! ARRRGHOOOO

We escaped the Crazy Train, we reached the end of the line you see, we missed our stop and had to go forward in reverse..

Now we are waiting in line to see lots of dead people in the Paris Catacoumbs..

We don't know where Nomad is, again. We know that we gave a crumb to you all with the Canadian blog a few days ago and that you don't deserve another crumb just yet, but the blog is weeks behind and we need to catch up.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Finallly! Three Young Monkey's in Canada

So I haven´t released a blog for a while, what with the all climbing, women, fast cars, poker games and travelling.. but Nomad and I are driving 800km from Spain to France in one hit and I have had a little spare time to write the Canada blog.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Desert Monkeys of Utah

After our ridiculous fireworks mission the 3 Monkeys venture onwards to glorious Zion in Utah. We arrived very late at night at our new couch surfing place. Our new host was the radical and awesome Keith. It was very dark when we arrived so when we walked out the front door in the morning we were blown away when we saw the view. Keith's house is planted right in the middle of some sort of desert heaven:

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.. except all the girls we met, they seem to want to follow us back to Australia.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Colorado Majangee - Chains and Whips Excite me

Fort Collins, Colorado

I can´t quite put my finger on it Steve but it appears that these cows are dealing with the snow far better that us.Why wern´t we made with the fur and the blubber like them?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

All aboard the Steamboat!

First 24 hours in the USA:

We escaped Mexico and got on the plane to the USA. Our firt stop was Dallas Texas. The excessivness of America was clear from the word go when we went to McDonalds. Supersize me! and how. The rumors are true.. we ordered a small combo that equated to a large Australian meal for half the price.

After 5 weeks in Latin America we were very relieved to be in this kingdom of western culture, highly accessible food and services and English speaking people.

We ticked a few of the  classic problems in the first 24 hours. We probably should be ashamed of ourselves...

  • Dunkin Donuts
  • McDonolads
  • McDonolads
  • McDonolads.... yes we went to maccas three times..
  • Burger king
  • Subway
  • Walmart (three star)
  • KFC (10 pieces chicken for 10 dollars)
  • Cheap liquor store (Smirnoff vodkas 6.99 per 6 pack, coronas $1 each)
  • REI

Yes we were excited..

Saturday, March 19, 2011

The Mexican Gringo Disco

Day 18 – Day 33
After locating a crazy Mexican taxi at the Monterrey airport we decided it would be a genius idea to head north towards the USA border and the climbing paradise of El Potrero Chico. During our journey through Monterrey it became quite apparent to us that this city seemed to be in some sort of drug war. Heavily armoured vehicles patrolled the streets loaded with federal police carrying automatic weapons. Our cab driver skilfully negotiated the check points, these are traps you see, the police here are all corrupt and intertwined with the drug cartels.Eventually we reached the safe haven on Hidalgo, a small rural town in the middle of the scorching desert featuring a glorious limestone canyon.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

10,000 NOOBs

Well here it is, another epic and long awaited blog from all corners of Peru..

Day 10 – Arrival in Lima
We arrived in Lima late at night to the usual chaos of the airport arrival area. Amongst the mess we found our driver from Pay Purix hostel. He was the infamous cartoon character that convinced us to come to this country. It was a real honour to finally meet him in person.

Friday, February 18, 2011

We´re coming back to Venezuela

Day 3 - Caracas
The insanity began at the Caracas airport where we were greeted with a mob of screaming locals. Some sort of famous singer showed up or something. We still think the mob was there for us though and we G-d up the crowd good and proper as we walked past. After navigating through the scammers we were relived to find our driver in amongst the scam artists and tourist kidnappers holding a sign with our names on it. This strange man’s name was William and he could not speak a word of English. Note: we need to learn Spanish. There was one thing he understood though, which we can’t discuss in full, we only know his name is Fernando. At any mention of this name William would nod gently, and through a slight grin whisper the words "ahhhhhhhhhhhhh... Feeeeeeeernnaaaando, harhahrhahahrarha". William got us safely to Hotel La Floresta, our new cave!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Lessons In Santiago

Day one

We arrived in Santiago to some sort of chaotic mess of crazy people waving signs and trying to scam us. We trusted some schmo in a suit, gave him all our posessions and got in his car. The hostel was a shady looking unmarked red building next to a highly active police station. We embarked on a ridiculous mission to find somewhere to exchange Us dollars for Pesos and buy lunch. Two hours later after circling and backtracking we found an ATM. Loaded up With 100,000 pesos, we spent more time walking in circles before going to a restaraunt we first walked past about 100m from the hostel. They probably accepted US dollars there anyway, which would have saved the whole mess in the first place. Turns out the currency conversions we made in our head were about 300% out. At the time we thought we were getting some damn cheap cube roll (steak?).

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Crazy Plane

Whilst waiting in line to check in, the computer system crashed causing a 2 hour delay for our flight out of Sydney. Amongst the frustration, some sort of nutcase provided us with entertainment.

He annoyed flight staff following them extremely closely up and down the aisles. Beric was lucky enough to catch a glimpse of what he was hiding under that cape. Turns out he was pantless.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Plan

Heres the plan see...

314 days, 19 countries, 60,000 miles, 30kg of climbing gear and three retired engineers.

On Wednesday we're outta here to live the lifestyle of bums. I hear supermarkets throw out all kinds of good expired food.